Friday, May 27, 2011

Still Good

A little girl in my son's fifth grade class lost her daddy this week.  It was a tragic accident, leaving three kids fatherless and a woman- a wife, a mother, a friend, a partner- to navigate life alone.  Honestly, I can't think of many things that could be worse.  Maybe it's because I am a mother with young kids, and I can't fathom losing my husband and setting out to raise our family without him.

I mean, how do you possibly explain to a kindergartner that Daddy is never coming home?  How do you watch your eleven-year-old daughter's heart break, knowing you can do nothing to ease the pain?  How do you deal with the knowledge that your toddler will never remember his father?  That they'll never play catch in the back yard? 

What does it feel like to look ahead to every single upcoming event in the lives of your children and erase your husband from the scene?  Concerts.  Vacations.  Birthdays.  Championship games.  School dances.  Graduations.  Weddings.  How can you imagine a daughter's wedding without her proud father walking her down the aisle?

My heart is breaking for this family.

Tonight, my heart also breaks for my son, who has gotten more than a glimpse of real heartbreak this week.  His classmate and her family have been on his mind constantly for the last two days, and his tears are evidence of a true compassion that's growing and maturing within him.  He's struggling with why God would let this happen.  He doesn't understand.  Quite frankly, I don't understand, either. 

But then again, God doesn't stop being good just because we don't understand what He's doing.

God can use the most tragic of circumstances to spread His glory among His people.  He can make beauty spring forth from ashes, and shine the light of life on even the darkest of places.  A few years from now, I am confident that somewhere, somehow, some good will have come from this tragedy.  It may not be obvious, especially to this wounded family, but I am confident nonetheless.  God is always faithful.

In the meantime, I am reminded that life is not only precious, but temporary.  I want to treasure the moments God gives me with my family.  I want to cuddle my kids, laugh with them, make memories with them.  I want to kiss my husband on his way out the door, and tell him that I love him.  That I appreciate him.  That I need him.  And I want to implore him to please drive safely and come home to me at the end of the day.

Because I can't imagine going through life without him.

1 comment:

  1. moments like that make me long so much more deeply for heaven. a mother lost her 3 year old and toddler as they were literally ripped from her arms during the tornado in our neighboring town this week. this is not what God intended when he designed the garden and we will suffer this way until he restores things back to Eden. i am yearning for that day and grieving with those who mourn such great losses. i think i can honor their pain by appreciating the precious things i have not lost in my life.