Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Melodies of Harmony

Here's a trivia question for you.  If you were a fly on the wall of my home, what one thing would you notice a lot of?  Tricky, I know.  Any guesses?

Hmmm....Children, you say?  Fairly obvious, I should think.  But not the answer I was looking for.

Cats?  Ahhh, yes.  Anyone who knows us also knows that we have more felines than any sane family has business having.  But, you see, we've never claimed to be sane.  Try again.

What's that?  Dirty laundry?  Very funny.  Point taken. 

Clutter?  Ouch.  Anyone else?

Chaos?  True.

Arguing?  Unfortunately true.

Dust?  Now that's just cruel.  And also true.

No, no, no.  All valid answers, I suppose, but the one that I was really looking for was this:


Singing, you say?  Why singing?  Because singing is what I use to deal with all the other overwhelming things in my life.  You know, the children, the cats, the dirty laundry, the clutter, the chaos, the arguing, and even the dust...but especially the children.

I am the self-titled Queen of Stupid Family Songs (the songs are stupid, not the family).  It all started five years ago when Little Miss J was born.  She was great and all, but she didn't actually do anything, you know?  At least not for a while.  And if you know me, you understand that I don't sit and do nothing very well.  (To clarify:  I'm actually very good at sitting, I just need to have something to do while I'm blogging).  So instead of just staring at Baby J all day, I started singing to her.  Before long, I ran out of songs that I knew and began to write my own.  We had songs for diaper changing, feeding, and bathing.  We had sweet baby songs and mad baby songs.  We had the "Cutest Little Baby in the Whole Wide World" song and the "Mama Loves You So Much" song.  As Miss J has grown (and as we've acquired more children), the list of songs has grown as well.  

Most of my Stupid Family Songs are simple, as they're usually written on the spot, and many have interchangeable lyrics; for instance the "Mad, Mad Baby" song can easily become the "Stinky, Stinky Baby" song or the "Pukey, Pukey Baby" song if the need arises (and it frequently does).  Most songs end with a really awesome and cheesy "yeah"!!!  I've also written songs about frogs and dinosaurs and such, but as the kids have gotten older, there are more and more obedience-themed songs emerging.

If I feel like I'm about to explode at my kids, I try to sing instead.  If they're arguing, I sing the "Mom's Not Going to Argue with You" song.  If they're trying to be the boss, I sing the "Mama is the Boss" song.  If they won't stop trying to convince me of something, I sing the "No Means No" song.  If they are going slower than humanly possible when getting into the van and buckling up, I sing the "Put Your Heiney in Your Seat and Buckle it Up" song.  And if I really feel like I'm going to scream at them, I sing the "Mom's Going to Scream" song.  It's perfectly acceptable to scream at your children while singing.  Besides, my kids love it, all the tension is drowned out in laughter, and our family is harmonious once more.  All because of my stupid little melodies.

Try it.  You don't have to be a singer or a songwriter, just borrow melodies from songs you know and add your own words.  You don't even have to be on key!  And who knows?  You can't ever be the Queen of Stupid Family Songs, but you could always become a princess.

By the way, I'm willing to share...let me know if there are any songs you want to hear, and then tell me how to post them!  I can't figure it out  :)


  1. my kids sing the momma is the boss song... but they really like to sing the child's name is not the boss part. :) You are pure genius!

  2. LOVE IT!!! I've been known to sing stupid family songs myself, like "Soap In My Ears, Soap In My Hair, Even In My Underwear," or "Clean Up Before I Throw Your Toys In the Trash." But you still need to teach me the "Mom's going to scream" song, I'd like to add that to my repetoire.

  3. oh, if only i could REMEMBER to be a singing momma like you. i aspire to be even a dutchess or maybe just a handmaiden of the dutchess. there is so much power in bringing songs to those tough moments. heck, even the not tough moments. it relieves stress, brings perspective, and if nothing else, it gives you something else besides the whining, arguing, or crying to listen to. i'm gonna try to get my song on, lisa. i'm gonna try.

  4. We use the kids' not the boss song--thanks for it--very clever. I've not tried singing when I'm frustrated! Hmmm good idea!