Monday, February 20, 2012

A Thousand Tomorrows

Feeling profoundly blessed today.  And reflective...and content with life...and also, even more significantly: protected.  Cradled gently and lovingly in the massive, capable hands of my Father.

And I know that whatever happens to me today or tomorrow or in a thousand tomorrows, everything will turn out okay in the end.

Because my Father knows the plans He has for me.  And today, with the sun of His design bathing the floor of my little man-made corner of the world, my spirit cannot deny that His ways are greater than my own.  His plans for my hope, my prosperity, my future.  His plans.  Not mine.

When I turn off myself, let go of my own designs, and whole-heartedly trust in the perfect goodness of His plans for me, I find that what I really want is what He wants, and my plans and His plans become inexplicably one and the same.  I can trust Him.  My Father knows what is best for me.  He knows what is best for me.  HE KNOWS WHAT IS BEST FOR ME. 

And if I truly love my Father, which I do...
And if I truly desire to follow His will, which I do...
And if I truly want to grow and become like my Savior, which I do...
Then I can truly find joy and contentment and peace in every situation, knowing that He has already written the ending to my life story.

And I end up with Him.

I attended a funeral yesterday for the dear father and grandfather of people I love;  people that are bound together more by the Spirit than by the common blood that flows through our veins.  And when the sun made its glorious appearance through my windows this morning, I felt a sudden surge of joy for this man...a lover of Jesus...who lived out the number of his days under this sun, but woke up this morning in the radiance of the one and only Son.  Wow.

Someday, when all my work is done, I'll wake up in His presence, too. 

God has already written my story for me.  I know where I came from, I know where I'll end up, and I know where my first thirty-two years have taken me.  I can even look back and see His workmanship along the way.  Many things, though, remain a mystery, and that's both scary and exciting. 

Whatever lies ahead, I'm choosing to trust Him just like I trust that the sun will rise for a thousand tomorrows.  I'm blessed and thankful to be held in His hands; I'm safe, I'm loved, and I'm protected...and I couldn't ask for anything more. 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

Monday, February 6, 2012

Go With What You Know

I found the house of my dreams this weekend.  Well, to be honest, it's more like the house of my dreams wrapped up in tons of 1980s floral wallpaper...but somewhere under all that ridiculousness is my dream house, I'm sure of it.

And I'm having trouble thinking about anything else. 

I truly want what God wants for us.  I desperately want to do His will (as does my husband), but the truth is, I'm having trouble even considering the possibility that this house is not in His plans for us.  I so badly want to believe that He revealed this "dream house" to light a fire under motivate us to prepare our current house to sell quickly, and He's going to save my beautiful dream farmhouse for me as He sells our little ranch in record time (and at a profit, no less!). 

I so want this to be one of those "happily ever after" situations where God's plan matches my dreams perfectly.

And I'm praying to that end, that He will please please pleeeeeease let us have this house to raise our children in, with secret stairways and barns full of kittens and gardens growing wild and chickens running loose in the yard.  With the old tire swing hanging from the giant tree out back just like I've always pictured it would be; the creek down the street just begging for bare toes and rolled-up pant legs, bursting with frogs in need of catching, and the fields around the house bowing with the weight of the harvest, the sun bearing down with golden kisses on the house...the yard...the life of my dreams. 

And here I am again, getting ahead of God.

If you haven't noticed, I don't need encouragement to dream.  I need encouragement to work.  And one way or another, God is using this dream to push me; to motivate me like I've never been motivated before.  That could be His only purpose for putting this house in my life. 

I sincerely hope not.  But I'm choosing to trust Him (and I'll have to keep reminding myself to trust). 

If this "perfect" house is not meant to be ours, if we're not supposed to raise our family there, then He has something far better in His plans. 

I know this is true, even though it doesn't feel true and I don't want it to be true.  Facts and feelings are two different things.  When feelings get in the way, you've got to go with what you know.  

But just in case, I'm gonna go pack something.