Friday, March 2, 2012

My Walk

I stumble.  I fall.  I lie on the bare ground, face in the dirt, unable to rise on my own.

He picks me up.  He sets me on the path, and urges me on.

I stumble.  I fall.  Arms out, I try to brace myself, prepare myself for the fall, yet face meets dirt once more.

He picks me up.  Dusts me off.  Sets me on the path, and urges me on.

I stumble.  I fall.  Hard impact, wind gone and breath lost, I lie stunned upon the ground.  Again.

He picks me up.  He breathes peace and new life into lungs that ache for His breath.  He dusts me off, sets me on the path, and urges me on.

I stumble.  I fall.  Bruised and bleeding, I lie helpless on the ground, paralyzed with the pain of my failure.

He picks me up.  He applies salve to my wounds.  He breathes peace and new life into lungs that ache for His breath.  He dusts me off, sets me on the path, and urges me on. 

I stumble.  I fall.  I cry out with the hot tears of anguish, unable to save myself; unable even to understand how desperately I need saving.

He picks me up.  He cradles me as the torrents of my humanity burst forth, unhindered; He dries my tears.  He applies salve to my wounds.  He breathes peace and new life into lungs that ache for His breath.  He dusts me off, sets me on the path, and urges me on.

Such is my walk with the Lord.

Will He never tire of me?  Will He not abandon me in my wretchedness?  Will His mercies never cease?  I disappoint Him so.  And yet He is faithful...and loving...and forgiving... and heaps blessing after blessing upon me.

There is nothing I can say, Father, except that I love You.  More than home and comfort, more than sun and moon and earth and sea, more even than my very heart:  husband, parent, child.  More than life.  I am Yours forever, such as I am.  Committed to You, in Your service in this life until I am presented blameless before You in the next.  Until then, may the sincerity of my heart bring glory to You when my actions cannot.

Lamentations 3:22-23

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is Your faithfulness.

1 comment:

  1. Feels like clean water. Oh how I wish I couldn't so closely relate to this, OR maybe I'm thankful to find one who walks much the same path. Finding out that my 14yo adopted attachment disordered child disappointed me once again is so disheartening, but then I remember how many times I KNOW I disappoint my Father. Sigh. Yes, HE picks me up.....

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