Monday, February 6, 2012

Go With What You Know

I found the house of my dreams this weekend.  Well, to be honest, it's more like the house of my dreams wrapped up in tons of 1980s floral wallpaper...but somewhere under all that ridiculousness is my dream house, I'm sure of it.

And I'm having trouble thinking about anything else. 

I truly want what God wants for us.  I desperately want to do His will (as does my husband), but the truth is, I'm having trouble even considering the possibility that this house is not in His plans for us.  I so badly want to believe that He revealed this "dream house" to light a fire under motivate us to prepare our current house to sell quickly, and He's going to save my beautiful dream farmhouse for me as He sells our little ranch in record time (and at a profit, no less!). 

I so want this to be one of those "happily ever after" situations where God's plan matches my dreams perfectly.

And I'm praying to that end, that He will please please pleeeeeease let us have this house to raise our children in, with secret stairways and barns full of kittens and gardens growing wild and chickens running loose in the yard.  With the old tire swing hanging from the giant tree out back just like I've always pictured it would be; the creek down the street just begging for bare toes and rolled-up pant legs, bursting with frogs in need of catching, and the fields around the house bowing with the weight of the harvest, the sun bearing down with golden kisses on the house...the yard...the life of my dreams. 

And here I am again, getting ahead of God.

If you haven't noticed, I don't need encouragement to dream.  I need encouragement to work.  And one way or another, God is using this dream to push me; to motivate me like I've never been motivated before.  That could be His only purpose for putting this house in my life. 

I sincerely hope not.  But I'm choosing to trust Him (and I'll have to keep reminding myself to trust). 

If this "perfect" house is not meant to be ours, if we're not supposed to raise our family there, then He has something far better in His plans. 

I know this is true, even though it doesn't feel true and I don't want it to be true.  Facts and feelings are two different things.  When feelings get in the way, you've got to go with what you know.  

But just in case, I'm gonna go pack something.

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