It's nearly two o'clock, and my heart is troubled with the burdens of a family...part of my church family...whose five pound newborn son will soon be undergoing a major surgery. A beautiful, precious little boy, much loved and anticipated, fearfully and wonderfully made by the God of the universe. A tiny and unique creation who will endure today the first of several- possibly many- surgeries that will mark his little life.
I've cried out to God for the healing of this baby since the day (several months ago now), that I first learned that he would be born with difficulties. I've agonized over the "unfairness" of it all, as this baby is the second son with special needs to be born into this family. I've even, in my human-ness, tried to bargain with God..."God, I can do without this farmhouse. I don't need such a huge blessing. Just please, Father, heal that baby boy"...though God has yet to take me up on any of my 'bargains'.
And then, on Sunday morning, God gave me the unspeakable privilege of praying baby Isaac into the world.
I rarely turn on my computer on Sunday morning. I'm late enough for church as it is. Yet as I sat alone in the morning's silence, Bible in hand, I felt compelled to do so. And there, the first thing on my screen, the very first sentence that I read, was a plea for immediate prayer. Baby Isaac was on his way, six weeks early and in the wrong city...the wrong hospital...with the wrong team of scheduled professionals to assist in his birth.
And I prayed. And I prayed. And I prayed.
And I had the best excuse for church tardiness that I've ever had.
And finally, there appeared on my screen a picture of a beautifully pink newborn, and my four-year-old and I sat and counted his perfect little toes, marveling at the workmanship of our God.
I don't understand God. My humanity doesn't always agree with His sovereignty, and my limited human capacity isn't able to comprehend His goodness and justice and mercy or see His magnificent plans under layers of tears and heartache. I don't know the plans He has for me, or the plans He has for my husband and my children. I don't know the plans He has for tiny baby Isaac and his family.
But I do know that God is Faithful. He is Mighty. He is Righteous. He is our Shepherd, our Companion, and our Healer. He is YHWH, "I AM", the One with no beginning and no end. The One who Is and always Will Be. To be walking within His plan for us- the course He has chosen, the script He has written- is the best place we can possibly be.
We are in capable hands. Isaac is in capable hands, and God is using this tiny baby boy as a vessel through which His glory is being shone to the world. I knew it the moment I saw that perfect row of tiny pink toes, and I know it now, as his surgery is most likely underway.
God, please watch over this beautiful creation of yours. Give the doctors wisdom and clear minds and steadfast hands. Give Isaac's Mommy and Daddy and big sisters the peace in their hearts to endure this day and the days to come. And please, Father, continue to reveal Your power to this hurting world through the healing of little baby Isaac. Amen.
To read about Isaac's incredible family and to share in his journey, as well as his big brother Matthew's, please visit http://lessonsfrommatthew.com/.
Oh Lisa..what a blessing to read your blog today as we all pray for Isaac...thank you for articulating the emotions so well.
ReplyDelete